Crap and Slime

I should definitely come up with a rating system for my posts, a way to tell readers if my post is worth reading or if it at least contains something of significance. Well this one is not one of those posts. You could continue your life as it was without remorse of missing one of my outstanding pieces of crap. Well this is post is partially about that, crap.

On my two plus years living in the old continent I’ve noticed some things in which Europeans are more sensitive that we, Mexicans. Two notable examples: the throne and the bathtub (The exception to the rule, if I may add, for Europeans are in other aspects much more tolerant than we are, e.g. body odour, but that is material for another post).

Let’s start with the crappier of the two. Europeans despise to sit on a can that has evidence of its previous user. As in contrast we Mexicans do not. Surely enough, during your time on this planet and after doing your business you have certainly left a singular line of brown sketched to it, or as we refer in our folkloric Mexican Spanish, the Crayola doodle (or “el cayolazo”).  We are more tolerant to a toilet with signature because it seldom happens; it is not that easy to leave your mark in a Mexican toilet. Two reasons for that, I believe the toilets in Mexico are either polished smooth to the n^th degree or… well European food is made of the same ingredients as the drawing crayons.

It is not uncommon to visit The Facilities in my country and not find the precious eraser (a.k.a. toilet brush). Be as it may, if you manage to leave your mark in a Mexican toilet then you have to options: be proud of your creation and let it mellow, or remove the evidence. But what if that eraser is not available? Well, then you leave it for the next user, whom most certainly will not make a big fuzz of it. Not in Europe. If you mark your toilet, you better clean it (there are even reminders everywhere).

The second fact is to rinse the place where you showered after you are done. It’s completely understandable… in a place where all showers are actually adapted bathtubs. Let me tell you, if you don't rinse your shower, in no time a grey slime made of foulness shall attach to the neighbouring drain. Again this does not happen in sunny Mexico.

It’s not that we have different cleanliness standards it’s just really that those things do not happen to us. Our showers are that: showers. It’s really difficult to find a house with a plastic filthy-water container. And the sieves are much larger, thus the water can escape leaving no residues, then a once-per-day cleaning shall suffice. Ditto for toilets. As I mentioned, our toilets do not stain so easily, thus a single shitty brush per household is enough for a daily rub to the white porcelain.

But if you ever do come to the house of a self-exiled Mexican with—by now—European standards don’t even think of leaving a Crayolazo on my precious porcelain corner or your foamy hair on the sieve of my filthy-water container. As I said, we do not—by any means—have slacker hygiene standards, it’s just that in Mexico we live in a magical place were we do not need to cover our tracks.     

Epilogue. Another characteristic of us Mexicans is that we love drama and as such, we tend to take everything personal. Therefore let it note that this post was NOT inspired by my last set of guests, who behave wonderfully. Instead it fount its inspiration when I refused to sit and send my package on an already scribed throne. 

Oh and I almost forgot. Yes, the word on the picture is one word, y’know thy ol’ German sticking words together.